day 4

The first controversial issue to arise from my latest interest in my subject is that I suspect I have a crush on her.

It happened when I stared at her eyes, and quickly I averted my gaze away from her. But she saw me. She saw and did nothing. Absolutely nothing! Increasingly, right after that moment of encounter, I have been thinking of her. It is absolutely unacceptable. My course of inaction (inaction because it is precisely a lack of action) departs from my initial intention to merely observe. Increasingly, I find myself emotionally attached to her. And I am greatly disturbed. Were it not be more productive, that she was ugly!

But in that ONE second when I stared at her and averted my gaze...the crucial second second decided for me the next course of action: I should try my utmost to separate my emotions from my philosophical work! I must!

And,
as if she knew, she fainted -

And I stared back, motionless, she fell...slowly...as if to save her with my gaze, she still falls...I move with my gaze, I thought I could....o! the laws proved otherwise.

And she...